Flurries

I still feel like a chimp trying to rewire a nucelar submarine - but fortunately there's not tons I can do to make the computer explode. And, hearteningly, eventually a chimp could probably develop the fine motor control to do some light rewiring, so there is hope for me and PERL yet! Aside from a few still-mysterious code errors I managed pretty well today.

It's always like this for me, learning something new. I flounder around like a lolloping fish for a few days/sessions/attempts feeling completely lost and idiotic . . . This is the stage before I have built the mental shelves and filing systems with which to categorize and store the new information. A blinding swirl of dissociated facts flurry around my head.

I cannot learn without a context for the learning. I envision the construction in my mind of pigeon-holes and card catalogues, a larger apparatus that bits of knowledge can be fitted into. Without context, I will simply not remember the bits by themselves; the bits have no meaning outside of the filing system. So if a bunch of commands, or names of proteins, or whatever, are just thrown at me, it's like I have my hands full of puzzle pieces - or numberless pages - or twisted metal odds and ends - and it's terribly frustrating, as I have no idea how to even look at them. I have to set them aside until I have got some foundation laid so that I can start assembling the pieces into a coherent structure. Then I can not only remember things, I can start to innovate and make new connections. I have to see the shape of whole before I can deal with the constituent parts.

It's not the easiest way to learn in the beginning, but in the end it's pretty effective.

My big triumph for the week is that I wrote my section of the methods paper. It seems trivial, since it's just a little thing and harldy stacks up against the mounds of work left unbegun since last month, but it's a start. My advisor is still being embarassingly nice, as well. I expect to re-engage experimental thrusters on Monday . . . assuming it's not still snowing.

Snow! We're due for a blizzard this weekend, so everybody keep your fingers crossed that Springy gets a good Winter Storm show.

I am also reading The Feminine Mystique, which ought to eb required reading. If you haven't read it, DO SO AT ONCE!