It's So Cold In Here I Can't Feel My Fingers.

Or my nose.

There are certain circumstances where it would be most advantageous to have either a) a lab-based partner, b) a car, or c) a non-lab based partner with a car.

What circumstances might these be? How about: 7:30 p.m. on a dark, cold, rainy Sunday night when I have run out of things to do whilst I wait for my cells to do their business. And I'm hungry. But mostly bored.

Why the hell am I studying migration in cells that creep along at a paltry few microns per hour? Why the hell isn't there another decent restaurant within 3 minutes walk of my building? Why is it so cold and rainy???

The gym's not even open, and there's no good place to take a nap. (The atrium couches are comfy, sure but they have the damn track lights pointing right in one's face and the maddening ping of the elevator is audible over three floors. Not to mention, it's Baltic in here.)

See, if I had a lab-based significant other, chances are good that they would also be in lab and they could come play with me while I wait. Better yet, if I had a car I could go home for a couple of hours and then come back, fix my cells, and drive back home (and not have to wait in the cold for a bus). Even better than that would be if I had a partner with a car, then he could come and pick me up, take me to dinner, double park while I ran upstairs and fixed my cells, and then drive me home.

That would be so awesome. I would totally give anyone reading this a hundred dollars if they would come pick me up in a warm dry car, take me to dinner, bring me back here for just 10 minutes, and then drive me home again.

I'd even pay for my own dinner.