Thursday, December 01, 2005

Wicked Stepfamilies

There's a chillingly interesting letter to Cary Tennis on Salon.com today. If I were in any way in communication with the persons who are my half-brothers' parents (puzzle that one out) I would send it along to them.

Dec. 1, 2005 Dear Cary,
I am ashamed to say this but I can't stand sharing my home with my two young stepchildren.


The letters section is also worth reading.

At this point I would like to give serious mad props, love, and a hearty round of applause to Mister Don, who is probably up for sainthood in a few years and has been the best dad I could ever have asked for.

Addendum: This letter led to a discussion of blended families between me and a friend of mine which was very enlightening. I wish I could give an easy answer for making this work, but of course I can't. People reacted very strongly to this woman's letter (myself included), mostly in the negative, but it brings up some very real issues that step-families face. I think the most important things to take away from this are that kids should not be mixed up with their parents; that people in these situations need to stay away from trying to fill roles; and that we need to all admit that it just sucks sometimes and be a little more . . . generous with ourselves and others.

Or - I don't know. It helps when the people involved aren't crazy, too.

5 Comments:

Blogger EthylBenzene said...

Just want to reiterate that you are and always have been entirely welcome in my parent's home, regardless of who your father is.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Joolya said...

Thanks, Ethyl. I'm glad we share genes.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would also like to give props to Mister Don. Having only met him once, I fell in love with his cool knee socks, fuctional fanny pack and very adorable car. Oh, and I also kinda liked the loving and very sweet rapport he had with little Joolya. It was a beautiful thing to see in even a short ride to the airport.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"we need to all admit that it just sucks sometimes and be a little more . . . generous with ourselves and others."

really, this is the central great advice for everyone, always helps to be reminded-

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm very flattered :)

xxx, always, Mr Don

10:43 PM  

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