Not Cool
You know what bugs me? This resurgence of the word "gay" as a perjorative in the last few years. Creepily coinciding with the return of 80s fashion, I have noticed the phrase "such and such is gay" popping out of the mouths of libertine people and up in the pages of respectable online journals.
When I was about eight years old, my mom heard me use the phrase "That's so gay!" and gave me what for.
"Do you know how offensive that is?" she asked me, with steely hazel eyes.
"No ... " I mumbled.
"You know what gay means?" she demanded.
"Um, yes?" I vacillated.
"What?"
"Um, when men like men and women like women."
"Right. And do you know anyone who is gay?"
I nodded, starting to blush, because I did and she knew I did.
"Therese is gay, right?" she continued. I nodded. "So when you say 'that's gay' and you mean something stupid, what you're saying is that Therese is stupid. How would you like it if I saw something stupid I said, 'ewww, that's so Joolya!'?"
So I stopped saying it and eventually the other kids did, too. I'm not saying I made them, I'm just saying that people got maybe a little more sensitive and stopped saying it. Maybe it was because me and my cohort grew up; maybe the younger kids still said it. But until a few years ago, I hadn't heard anyone use that phrase for ten years.
It must stop. It's not funny, and it's not cool. It's not even retro-ironic-cool, or snidely-not-funny-funny. It's lame-ass and juvenile. I don't like what the recent acceptability of "that's so gay" says about our society just now. 80s fashion was ugly enough. Do we really need to bring back 80s homophobia?
I mean, what next, trickle-down economics?
When I was about eight years old, my mom heard me use the phrase "That's so gay!" and gave me what for.
"Do you know how offensive that is?" she asked me, with steely hazel eyes.
"No ... " I mumbled.
"You know what gay means?" she demanded.
"Um, yes?" I vacillated.
"What?"
"Um, when men like men and women like women."
"Right. And do you know anyone who is gay?"
I nodded, starting to blush, because I did and she knew I did.
"Therese is gay, right?" she continued. I nodded. "So when you say 'that's gay' and you mean something stupid, what you're saying is that Therese is stupid. How would you like it if I saw something stupid I said, 'ewww, that's so Joolya!'?"
So I stopped saying it and eventually the other kids did, too. I'm not saying I made them, I'm just saying that people got maybe a little more sensitive and stopped saying it. Maybe it was because me and my cohort grew up; maybe the younger kids still said it. But until a few years ago, I hadn't heard anyone use that phrase for ten years.
It must stop. It's not funny, and it's not cool. It's not even retro-ironic-cool, or snidely-not-funny-funny. It's lame-ass and juvenile. I don't like what the recent acceptability of "that's so gay" says about our society just now. 80s fashion was ugly enough. Do we really need to bring back 80s homophobia?
I mean, what next, trickle-down economics?
posted by Joolya at
2:20 PM
4 Comments:
I agree, although I think there are occasions when it can be ironically funny, for example, when discussing something that really IS gay, like Barbara Streisand, or Elton John. But I think that is not what you meant.
Now that you come to mention it, it's been QUITE a while since I heard "that's so gay" used like you mean it. Hm. Is is supposed to be retro? Ew.
I get the same cringe when I hear that as I do when someone says "that's retarded." I got the same steeley-eyed glare from my mother the Special Ed teacher anytime I said that, lemme tell you. And a very similar lecture about how hurtful and mean it is. And since I'm basically a nice kid, I stopped. I've noticed retarded coming back a bit, though, too, now that you mention it.
Who says this stuff? Why? Do you think it's just to get a rise? WTF?
Can you tell I'm sort of ranting and reading blogs instead of doing actual work? I even cleaned the supply room instead of looking for actual work to do! Ha.
PS-- I'm totally going to start saying "eew, that's so JOOLYA!" when I don't like something.
dude, i've read it any number of places and a friend of mine, who is otherwise quite sensitive and not totally straight either, said it a while back and i disparaged him duly.
That's crazy! I'll have to pay more attention, maybe. Huh.
Although I did catch a coworker say "that's retarded" today. I wanted to tell him that the more appropriate thing to say is "that's joolya," but I didn't think he would be appreciative.
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